SCAM
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The chairman is aghast at a suggestion that Scam should follow a growing trend and take itself to the stockmarket, envisaging a PR disaster as the newly aggressive FSA looks for a scalp.
”Do you think the reports are some sort of late April Fool?” I asked the chairman of the implausibly-sized investment company Second Coming Asset Management as we enjoyed a pint of Uncle Jon’s Impressive Optimism at The Curious Refusal To Accept It Might Just Possibly Be Time To Consider A Career That Lies Outside The Wonderful World Of Investment.
“Which one?” asked the chairman. “Jon Maguire’s latest comeback or the Jupiter flotation?”
“I’m pretty sure the latter is for real,” I replied, “although we may shortly return to why you have your doubts. No - I was talking about the story I’ve just seen on the jewel that is the Fund Strategy website that Maguire is launching a product enabling IFAs to invest in asset-backed managers.
“Bearing in mind how splendidly some of his recent adviser-orientated ventures have gone, I just felt it had to be a spoof. But if it’s true, then you have to admire his … his …”
“Touching belief in the enduring stupidity - or possibly amnesia - of the IFA community?” suggested the chairman.
”I know jaywalking isn’t a crime in this country but you can’t be too careful with that mob”
“I think I was reaching for ’bouncebackability’,” I said. “But yours works too. Now, what’s your issue with the Jupiter IPO? Aren’t flotations all the rage at the moment? First Gartmore, then the Jupiter proposals and now Lord Geffen of Shouty Activism suggesting M&G should consider going public - I’d have thought it was only a matter of time before Scam went to the markets?”
“Are you insane?” said the chairman. “Fund management flotations are notoriously tricky at the best of times - after all, the first question anyone should ask about any professional investors who come to the market is ’Why are they selling?’ Furthermore, you have presumably also noticed that markets are pretty unforgiving and unpredictable places in which to be operating at the moment.
“And then of course there are all the PR considerations - just look at Gartmore.”
“But they did OK getting their float away,” I protested.
“By the skin of about one tooth,” the chairman replied. “And then look at the trouble they’ve been having since.” (article continues below)
“What?” I snorted. “You’re not suggesting their IPO jinxed them or something?”
“Only with the press,” shrugged the chairman. “Ask yourself - why have they been attracting all this flak? I mean, it’s not as if the company was involved in insider dealing or anything. One of its managers merely did something that is perfectly acceptable in many fund groups but which breached an internal rule Gartmore had decided to put in place.
“It’s not the greatest surprise the FSA has been all over them on this - after all, with the Tories threatening it with the chop the FSA was always going to go full-steam for any scalp it could get. It is, incidentally, why nowadays I only cross the road at traffic lights - I know jaywalking isn’t a crime in this country but you can’t be too careful with that mob.
“In my opinion, however, the reaction in the national press - and more specifically the City pages - has been completely out of all proportion to the gravity of the fund manager’s admittedly rather dopey behaviour. Why? My theory is it’s a hangover from last year’s IPO, which some areas of the press do not feel was all that it could have been.”
“Journalists bearing ideological grudges?” I laughed. “What an extraordinary idea. Now, journalists bearing personal grudges - absolutely. That’s one of the perks of the job and can be tremendous fun, but I find it more of a stretch to believe that the less than flattering Gartmore coverage - which I agree is pretty out of whack - stems from a bunch of hacks believing the group could have done better by investors.”
“Do you have a better theory?” asked the chairman.
“Not at this moment,” I conceded. “And in a world where Maguire evidently believes he’ll still find some willing punters among IFAs, I suppose nothing is impossible.”
“Fancy a little wager he attracts fewer buyers on this than he did votes as Chippenham’s English Democrat candidate in the last election?” smiled the chairman.
“What, 307?” I said. “No bet.”
